Sunday, December 4, 2011

Seattle Fun Fact #69!

In no particular order, #69 in  the files of Things You Never Asked Me to Tell You About Seattle (and would probably rather not know...)

You’re probably going to see a lot of your friends naked. Not necessarily because you’re having sex with them, but because it’s not uncommon for people to have one or more hobbies that involve gratuitous nudity. If you ask me, this is pretty cool, and almost (almost!) compensates for the unfortunate rain situation. In their free time, Seattleites do things like burlesque (i.e., stripping, but with much better costumes…and irony!). Or they're in "clothing optional" baton-twirling troupes, or they host parties with themes like, “Come Dressed As Your Favorite Naked Person!”
In a similar vein, non-monogamy is sort of a thing. If you’re married and you also mention your boyfriend, girlfriend, and/or 24/7 sex slave, nobody will bat an eye. Don’t be surprised if you go to a party and you meet someone who describes himself as a “bi, poly, kinky switch who’s really into horse-play.”  When you first arrive in Seattle, you may not know what that means. Don’t worry. You will. Whether you want to or not, you will.
Seattle is where a chicken can live out his dream of becoming a Cher impersonator...
Tangentially, you may even find yourself wondering, as I have, what you should wear when going with a friend to deliver a live chicken to a gender-queer BDSM sex  farm (HINT: floral, brightly-colored kilts are a bad choice). (NOTE: no chickens were harmed in the making of this anecdote. The chicken in question was actually being saved from death, because he was a gender-queer hen who turned out to be a rooster, and thus wasn’t allowed to live within City limits).

Which brings me to Thing #32 About Seattle: Everyone has chickens.. I hear the "urban chicken" thing is even worse in Portland.  My next-door neighbors have about eight of them. Really.  Who needs that many chickens?

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