Local Mouse Discovers One Weird Trick to Increase Testicle Size!

Not the only mouse with serious cahones...

Turns out, vanilla yogurt isn’t just for women who want to go on national television and talk with Jamie Lee Curtis about their poops! A recent MIT study, briefly summarized in Scientific American, suggests that yogurt consumption may lead to larger testicles in mice. The article reports:

“First, the scientists noticed that the yogurt-eating mice were incredibly shiny...these animals had 10 times the active follicle density of other mice, resulting in luxuriantly silky fur.

Then the researchers spotted some­thing particular about the males: they projected their testes outward, which endowed them with a certain “mouse swagger,” Erdman says. On measuring the males, they found that the testicles of the yogurt consumers were about 5 percent heavier than those of mice fed typical diets alone and around 15 percent heavier than those of junk-eating males.”

The yogurt-swilling mice with the "luxuriantly silky fur" (who probably spent HOURS looking at themselves in the bathroom mirror, and wore way too much hair gel) also impregnated females more successfully and produced more offspring than the control groups. 

 What the yogurt-eating male mice turned into,
only with silkier hair.

When asked if they would go on TV to endorse Activa, one of the male mice rendered more masculine by all that vanilla yogurt swaggered over. "Yo, Jaime Lee Curtis can lick my freakishly enlarged ball sack." The mouse then hopped on his Harley and needlessly revved the engine. 

"Bring me a beer, bee-atch," said Macho Mouse. "And a vanilla lowfat yogurt.
And make it snappy."

Reading about this study, all I could think of was the poor grad student whose job it was to calculate the mass of mouse testicles all day. She or he had worked hard for years and years to get to MIT, probably sacrificed having any kind of social life in high school, only to be measuring rodent ball-sacks. Hopefully the grad student at least bought the poor mice a container of Activa first...