Friday, June 22, 2012

Emergency Preparedness, or: Where to Get a Beer During Seattle's 78-Minute Summer

It's officially summer in Seattle, although "June-uary" weather continues to prevail.

After the endless FallWinterSpring unibrow of a season when it’s nothing but cold, wet and gray, The Sun™ has a transformative effect on those of us who live here. And it’s not always pretty. On Capitol Hill, legions of confused locals wander the streets like zombies, stunned, squinting, and pale as the day they were born. Dazed, they walk out in front of cars, and bump into things. Instead of “Braaaaaaains….”, these automatons are searching for “Beeeeeer...”
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Remember when it was all sunny and nice in Seattle for about 37 hours back in May, and everyone lost their shit? People in other parts of the world don't realize that the city practically shuts down when this happens. It's roughly analogous to a hurricane warning here in Florida, or a blizzard in New York, or pretty much any time in Greece.

The #1 Most Overheard Question on days ruled by the mysterious Glowing Sky Orb is some variation of, “Where can we go to sit outside and enjoy a refreshing beverage?” Sure, there are plenty of places with so-called “outdoor seating,” but some of them perilously stretch the definition of both “outdoors” and “seating.” So, as a Public Service Announcement, I decided to create The Short List of Outdoor and Outdoor-ish WateringHoles in Seattle's Capitol Hill neighborhood.

Last year, on July 18, the meteorology blog of Seattle's KOMO News reported that the city had experienced exactly 78 minutes of weather over 80 degrees all year. And "a whopping 18 hours and 48 minutes of temperatures above 75."  

So, seriously--next time the warm weather strikes, have your unflattering outdoor shoes ready, and run--don't walk!--to enjoy a beverage al fresco. It may be your only chance. 

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