Thanks to alert reader "Anonymous," I don't feel so bad about the fact that my mind wandered about 80 times while reading this article in The New Yorker, which he (she?) called to my attention.

Turns out, I can think of a LOT of uses for toothpicks and clothes hangers.Maybe it's a Southern thing, but my first thought for the clothes hanger was that it could be used as a car antennae...